'Simone Biles Rising': Acclaimed gymnast describes Tokyo as 'trauma response'
Gymnastics superstar Simone Biles will soon compete in Paris in her third Olympic Games, hoping to add more hardware to her collection of seven medals (four gold, one silver, two bronze) earned while competing in the 2016 games in Rio and 2020 games in Tokyo, which the COVID-19 pandemic postponed to 2021.
Biles, frequently proclaimed the GOAT of her sport, shocked viewers when she abruptly withdrew from the Tokyo Olympics after struggling on the vault. She cited her deteriorating mental health and what gymnasts call “the twisties,” a name given to the feeling of being lost or disoriented during a routine.
But as the 4-foot-8-inch phenom explains in the four-episode Netflix documentary “Simone Biles Rising,” she didn’t want that to be the end of her story.
“I never want to look back in 10 years and say, ‘Oh, what if I could’ve done another Olympic cycle or at least tried?’” Biles, 27, says in the docuseries. “I didn’t want to be afraid of the sport anymore.”
The first two episodes of “Rising” are now streaming, and cameras are documenting her Paris journey for two remaining episodes set for fall.
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What happened at the 2020 Olympics?
Biles says in “Rising” that after stumbling during warmups at the 2020 games, she knew it wouldn’t be a one-time mistake. She wondered how she would tell her coaches the situation was “bad bad.”
After she failed to land her vault during the competition, Biles says the room fell silent. “If I could’ve ran out of that stadium, I would have,” she says. Instead, she simply said she was done and walked away from the competition, feeling a great sense of shame.
She recorded herself just 12 hours later, tearfully looking back on what happened.
“I’m getting lost on my skills,” she says. “I just don’t get how. It’s like, I’m so prepared that I don’t know if I’m overthinking. It’s getting to the point where it’s becoming dangerous because I’m getting lost on all of my floor skills.”
After leaving Olympics, Biles would ‘cry and cry and cry’
Biles says she felt horrible about herself after exiting the competition for her mental health. “Everywhere I went I felt like they could see ‘loser’ or ‘quitter’ across my head,” she says. “So I always felt like everyone was staring at me, even if they weren’t.”
She lets the “Rising” cameras into what she has dubbed “the forbidden Olympic closet” where she stores memorabilia from Tokyo, including her sparkling leotard and opening ceremony outfit.
“I used to just sit here and just cry and cry and cry,” she says candidly. “Ask God why this happened to me.”
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Biles says Tokyo 2020 is ‘a trauma response’ to Larry Nassar abuse
Biles calls her performance at the 2020 games "a trauma response of everything that has happened, just being a survivor.…”
She is among hundreds of women abused by Larry Nassar, a former physician for USA Gymnastics. Nassar will spend the rest of his life in prison after his conviction on sexual assault and child pornography charges. In September 2021, Biles testified before the Senate Judiciary Committee that “the impacts of this man’s abuse are not ever over or forgotten.”
“I didn’t get the proper care before because I just thought I was OK,” Biles says in “Rising.” “But your mind and your body (are) the first one to say, ‘Actually, no.’”
Still, she finds a silver lining in stumbling at the 2020 Olympics. “It opened up the conversation to a lot of the world, and a lot of people got the chance to be heard and be seen and to get the proper help,” she says. “Thank God for that vault.”
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